PHOTO: PRABIR DAS

ASHIF AHMED RUDRO

With Eid right around the corner, the rush of homebound people has begun. Regardless of your choice of transport, you will encounter a number of “characters” on your journey, and it’s not negotiable. Some of them will chew your ears out, others might blow peanut skin, and that one middle-aged uncle will tell you how younger people these days have no respect for the elderly.

Interestingly, these are not the only types of people you meet on your journey. Tick your checklist because here are a few more.

The Atlas

Just like Atlas was carrying the weight of the heavens or sky in mythology, these types of people carry way too many baggage and it makes you wonder: ‘How long are you planning on staying?’ While it is not good to judge people so quickly, you can not help but wonder. There are usually two or three people who carries around six pieces of luggage, and that is not counting their backpacks. These are the people who hoard the trunks of vehicles, so the rest of the people have a hard time storing their luggage.

Team baby

It’s always ‘the baby and the team’ and never ‘the couple with the baby’ because the baby is always the main character in this group of people. The baby will either be very cool or super loud; there is no middle ground unfortunately. Depending on the mood of the baby, the rest of the passengers will either have a pleasant journey or they will know that the baby ‘does not want orange juice.’

The lovebirds

Almost in every journey, there is a couple who are very much in love. You can tell by their body language; the matching outfits, the way they carry the bags, the way they share the crisps, and the way they giggle every five minutes. Sometimes, you can even hear some heated words, which might suggest an argument but that could very well be the exhaustion from the traffic jam.

The family guy

And we don’t mean the TV show. In every Eid journey, there is that one person who is on the phone, almost the whole time. Family, friends, co-workers; they call everyone to let them know that they are on their way home; which is sort of enviable, and a bit mythical; because how do you even maintain such good terms with everyone past your 30s?

The one who is too good for this

Sometimes you see a person walking in with an ostentatious swagger. They move like they are annoyed with everything; they speak like it costs to use normal words, and they behave like they would rather be anywhere else. It almost feels like they are too rich to be on that vehicle and they make sure everyone knows that.

Sometimes, they even say it out loud: “The only reason I am on this bus is because I could not find tickets in first class. I never travel economy,” is their go-to choice of phrase, and it stays like this for half the journey. Then they dial it down a bit and reassume this persona at the end of the journey when it’s time to get off.

The podcast host

Regardless of how terrible the journey is and how harshly Dhaka punishes everyone, there are a few people who just can not stop being friendly and loves to chat. And there will be at least one of them in every bus, train compartment, launch; basically, within earshot. You can hear them striking up a conversation with everyone and wonder: is it possible to learn this power?

Remember; if you cannot find the podcast host, you are the podcast host.

The quiet and impatient one

Last but not least, the quiet ones who do not speak much; or at all. They move like they can not wait for this journey to be over so that they can go home and let themselves drop on a bed. They have their earbuds plugged in the whole time; sometimes they get a call that lasts less than thirty seconds and they get absolutely impatient whenever there is a traffic jam.

I’m from the last group. What about you?