PHOTO: SHEIKH MEHEDI MORSHED

SHAH ALAM SHAZU

Veteran actors Wahida Mollick Jolly and Rahmat Ali reflect on three decades of marriage, arguing that trust, restraint and honesty and not only romance—have sustained their partnership.

Both trained at Rabindra Bharati University and later taught at University of Dhaka, the couple have balanced long academic careers with work across theatre, television and film.

They married in 1990 and have two children, now based abroad. “We want them to grow up as good, humane people,” Jolly said.

Asked about the foundation of their relationship, Jolly pointed to emotional attachment over theory. “Many people explain relationships in different ways. For me, the key is affection—affection for the family, for the children, and for my husband. Trust is there, of course. But affection is what matters most. It is because of that we have come this far together.”

She added, “I cannot even imagine living apart from my family.”

Their connection began in Rajshahi during their school years. “We were both from Rajshahi. We met when I was in class ten. He used to do theatre with my father,” she said.

Their bond deepened in Kolkata, where both enrolled at Rabindra Bharati University. “He wanted to join a theatre group and encouraged me to join too. At that time, Theatre Workshop was well known. He joined first, and my father later asked me to join as well,” she recalled.

Jolly said those early days shaped both their craft and relationship. “We often returned late from rehearsals. The group would ask him to drop me home. I did not know Kolkata then. That is how we grew closer.”

Her early promise was evident from the start. “On my first day at Theatre Workshop, I was given a script to read. Everyone was surprised. We did not have to wait long before getting roles,” she said.

On her husband’s flaws and strengths, Jolly was direct. “His weakness is that he gets angry quickly and speaks the truth bluntly. But he is very simple. A good person, and above all, honest. He has lived his life with integrity. That is perhaps why we are happy.”

Rahmat Ali echoed the emphasis on balance rather than perfection. “We are happy. There is happiness and sorrow in every life, but ours has more happiness. We also argue, we have disagreements, but they do not last. We forget, we accept mistakes.”

He added, “The most important thing is compromise. We make space for each other. Without that, it does not work.”

For him, the principle is clear. “Living honestly—that is where happiness lies.”

On responsibility within the household, Rahmat credited his wife. “I think Jolly has carried more responsibility—family and children.”

He recalled a period when their careers were based in different cities. “I was teaching at the University of Chittagong while she was at Dhaka University. She managed everything at home during that time. Later, I joined Dhaka University, and we shared responsibilities.”

Asked about Jolly’s defining quality, he pointed to her judgment. “She is very thoughtful. She measures her words. She does not speak impulsively. She thinks before she speaks and before she decides.”

Both emphasised mutual regard as the core of their relationship. “We trust each other. We respect each other. We respect others, too. That is why, we have received so much love in our lives,” Rahmat said.

Jolly closed on a note of restraint rather than sentiment. “I have never harmed anyone. I have respected people and loved them.”