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Know your neighbour?
PHOTO: NAKIB SHAH ALAM
There are many reasons for such apathy. The biggest reason is probably the fact that Dhaka is so busy that people just cannot afford the time to socialise with each other. While this is true and an accepted practice in most big cities, it is not a pleasant thought from a sociological perspective. There are countless instances where people have lived in apartments side by side for years and they did not even know each other’s name.
ASHIF AHMED RUDRO
Dhaka is full of opportunities and possibilities but they come at a price. In a city as busy as this one, sacrificing social bonds has become the norm. While in villages or even smaller cities, people form strong or at least decent bonds with their neighbours, it is not so frequent in this metropolis.
There are many reasons for such apathy. The biggest reason is probably the fact that Dhaka is so busy that people just cannot afford the time to socialise with each other. While this is true and an accepted practice in most big cities, it is not a pleasant thought from a sociological perspective. There are countless instances where people have lived in apartments side by side for years and they did not even know each other’s name.
Shahed Rahman is in his forties and works at a private institution. He owns a flat in Mirpur and has been living there for a few years now. He does not interact much with his neighbours.
“I know it sounds bad but it’s not that simple. Even if I want to interact with my neighbour, maybe he doesn’t feel the same way. If my neighbourly interest is not shared then it becomes difficult to maintain that relationship,” said Rahman.
“If you try to approach someone to speak, they often do not take it as an innocent neighbourly approach. They begin to wonder about your motives for being friendly,” said Mushfiq Fuad Mitul, a new father who lives in Khilgaon with his small family.
Most of Dhaka practices this individualistic approach when it comes to neighbours and holds the belief that it is better to keep yourself to yourself. But the keyword is “most”. There are parts of Dhaka where neighbours interact regularly with each other. Old Dhaka is a prime example of this.
Sagar Kar, a young businessman who presently lives in Tongi, has lived in Uttara and Old Dhaka over the years. With the entirety of his childhood spent in old Dhaka, Sagar holds the experience of living there for more than 20 years.
“First there is the fact that the entire area of Old Dhaka itself is a cultural hub that has its own traditions, norms, and festivals. This alone makes Old Dhaka different from the rest of the city and this is a big factor in how neighbours interact with each other,” said Sagar citing the examples of Eid, Puja, and Shakrain and how everyone in Old Dhaka participates in those celebrations spontaneously.
“Another factor is how the buildings are designed. The city has many individual flats that are designed to keep everyone separate, you can live in one of these flats and not have to interact with anyone else and it will not matter. But the buildings in Old Dhaka are not designed that way. So, you run into each other and for one reason or another, have to interact with each other. This builds a bond. Besides, Old Dhaka still has that classic norms where people don’t have that individualistic ego. While the rest of the city might not take your friendliness quite as easily, Old Dhaka does not mind,” added Sagar.
Being too friendly to a neighbour can indeed make things complicated but reaching out and introducing yourself to your neighbour is not the worst idea. That way, at least you can feel less awkward in the elevators.