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Don't know how many I killed: Grobbelaar

AFP, London
Former Liverpool goalkeeper Bruce Grobbelaar has spoken about how football "saved" him after his horrific experiences as a soldier in the Rhodesian army, also recounting the trauma of the Heysel and Hillsborough disasters during his playing days.
The 60-year-old told Britain's Guardian newspaper in a frank interview that the impact of the fighting in Zimbabwe's war of independence in the 1970s was such that two soldiers took their own lives when they were told to do another tour of duty.
The 60-year-old also described the moment he first killed a man.
"My first time was at dusk. As the sun sinks you're seeing shadows in the bush. You cannot recognise much until you see the whites of their eyes. It's you or them.
"You shoot, you drop and there's overwhelming gunfire. You hear voices on your side: 'Hey, corporal, I'm hit.' You whistle to shut them up otherwise we're all getting killed.
"When it's finished you see bodies everywhere. The first time everything in your stomach comes up through your mouth."
When asked how many people he
killed, he replied:" 1 couldn't tell you."
The Zimbabwean was at Liverpool during the most successful spell in the club's history but the 1980s were also marked by two tragedies - the 1985 Heysel disaster, when 39 Juventus fans died before the European Cup final and the Hillsborough disaster in 1989, which resulted in the deaths of 96 Liverpool supporters.
" It [Heysel) was worse [than war)," said Grobbelaar. "In the bush you knew what could happen. At Heysel it was innocent people. To hear the crumbling wall and the falling bodies was terrible."
Grobbelaar was also hit hard by the tragedy at Hillsborough, where he was close to the Liverpool fans' end.
"I was near gate number 13 and there was this soft sound - like air coming out," he said. "I saw the faces squashed against the fence. I went to get the ball and shouted to the policewoman: 'Open the effing gate.' She said: 'I haven't got the key'. When the ball came back a second time, I shouted again.
"I saw they had a key and people spilled onto the ground.
"I kicked the ball out and ran to the referee. That's when the barrier went over and the bodies came down. I could hear the air coming out of them."