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A deflective masterclass

Samama Rahman
After Manchester United suffered a humiliating 2-1 defeat at home to Sevilla in their Champions League
round-of-16 second leg, a match they had gone into with a 0-0 result in the away leg, manager Jose Mourinho's press conference featured his best form of defence - deflection.
"I've sat in this chair twice before; with Porto, Manchester United out, and [with] Real Madrid, Manchester United out. So I don't think it's anything new for the club," the Portuguese said curtly.
There are two ways to look at the above statement. Firstly, that Mourinho was referring to the surprises that football can spring or secondly - and perhaps the likelier option given his examples -- that he was patting himself on the back as a form of reassurance.
In bizarre fashion, Mourinho seemed to be taking credit for having knocked Manchester United out of the Champions League for the third time And that would only be appropriate because and there are no two ways about it, Mourinho has to take a lion's share of the blame for last night's result.
Both those teams, Porto in 2003/04 and Real Madrid in 2012/13, were coached by Mourinho but while United may have lost, the manner of those defeats was far different from the one on Tuesday night. One featured a gritty Porto, who would go on to win the tournament, and the other against Real Madrid was marred by a red card that is hotly debated to this day.
In neither game did Manchester United retreat into a shell and refuse to play any form of football other than hoofing it up to a Romelu Lukaku or a Maroune Fellaini in the hopes of a lucky flickastheydidon Tuesday night.
The line-up for the second leg provided some hope despite the presence of two defensive midfielders, as they it was presumed that they would unshackle the likes of Alexis Sanchez, Marcus Rashford, Romelu Lukaku and Jesse Lingard - who are part of one of football's most expensive frontlines -from much of their defensive duties.
However, what transpired on the pitch against Sevilla - who have been on the end of 5-0,5-2,5-1 and 5-3 hammerings at the hands of Real Madrid, Atletico Madrid, Eibar and Real Betis respectively since the turn of the year -was nothing short of disgraceful.
United let their foot off the gas and allowed Sevilla to grow into the game before the Spanish side eventually took control and dictated proceedings. It was in many ways a continuation of the dire display of football that was present in the first leg and a sordid, if accurate, representation of Mourinho's 'pragmatic approach' in big games against top-quality opposition.
Since when does playing Sevilla - a team who have not made it to this stage of Europe's elite competition in over 50 years and never advanced past it - at home require one of Europe's supposed elite teams to adopt a 'pragmatic approach' is a question perhaps only Mourinho can answer.
Not looking for the away goal in the first leg was mistake enough, but stick-
ing to defensive football, armed with the knowledge that one goal against an unsettled backline and barely any of the defensive quality of Mourinho's teams gone by would put them in a comer, was the self-inflicted killer blow.
"They approach every game conservatively. As good as they were on Saturday [in a 2-1 win over Liverpool], they didn't play great football. They got away with it because of the win. There's a lot of performances that are exactly the same but get swept under the carpet," was United legend Paul Scholes's summation of events.
For a team that presumes to compete with Europe's elite, the contrast between United’s approach and the way Real Madrid, Barcelona, Juventus or Bayern Munich would have played in a similar situation is a telling one. But one will not even have to look to a different city because, as ashamed as a Manchester United fan may be to admit it, their once 'noisy neighbours' would never resort to the dire and uninspiring brand of football on show at the increasingly ironically named Theater ofDreams'.
When asked if having just four shots over 180 minutes - against a team who have conceded 42 goals this season and 12 in six Champions League games - concerned him, Mourinho responded with a Donald Trump-esque "That's stats. That's statistics.”
And a damning statistic to say the least; although not quite as bad since United only started playing what can be described as football after conceding 165 minutes into one of the most unwatchable ties in this year's Champions League.