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Finding Namo
Aus dollar gets him a masala dosa and a soft drink. An Indian rupee displays a video on his mobile phone showing him how to cook that masala dosa.
Was this the thing that pla yed strongly on the minds of the average Indian voters? Was it that the renowned dailies were starting to look more like Hindustan Crimes, The Indian Depress, The Bad Times of India or the Dainik Torture!
Was it that the powers-that-be were playing Who Wants to be a Millionaire in reverse order - making millions first and then answering the questions later, if at all?
Or was it that all previous campaign slogans of "Yes we can" eventually translated into "Yes we con"?
It was perhaps a combination of all and more. But the fact remains that Ram eliminated Ravan, Obama eliminated Osama and perhaps this time, it is Corruption that eliminated Congress. Narendra Modi's BJP gets a sweeping victory over Sonia's Congress. I wonder if this is labeled as a case of a male beating a woman with a broom.
Narendra Modi, aka, Namo - the Rajinikanth of Indian politics. Maybe a Bollywood release is in order, Finding Namo. Well, the verdict of the world's largest democracy is here - a Modi-fied government.
And the Congress? It scores just under 50 seats. It can now form a WhatsApp group without missing out on any of its MPs (WhatsApp group member limit is 50).
And the outsourced version of Ross Perot is noteworthy, with a flickering hope of a strong third voice. Alas, the Tata Nano has more seats than the Aam Admi Party (AAP). Now Tata, don't start getting any wild ideas about introducing the Tata Namo, just to score some brownie points.
The elections may have been one of the most closely watched. The vote counting is a cliff hanger commentary: "And...BJP needs 272 to win!" "Uhm, in how many overs, yaarl"
As an afterthought, perhaps paying 5 rupees to hear Modi's speech wasn't a bad deal at all, considering the nation paid a huge price for Manmohan Singh's silence.
And the world? Well, Modi shows that to what length a driven Gujrati goes to get a US visa. Wonder if Mr. Obama is panicking, "Can I now get an Indian visa?” Don't know, if he has to fill out an application online and wait for an appointment date.
Jokes aside, all eyes are on the warm handshake between Nawaz Sharif and Narendra Modi. Let's hope the cooperation goes far beyond the existing cases of fake Indian Rupees from Pakistan ending up at Hazrat Shah Jalal Airport.
The felicitations from Bangladesh to Modi: "Congratulations! You may now relieve yourself of helping curb our disappearance cases - thanks to Farakka, Tipaimukh and Teesta, we may just not have any rivers left." We wait and see how Big Brother takes care of the triple saline drip. For that, we may see an interesting bout of Modi vs. Mo-Di (Momota Di). Don't take too long M&M, as we might just turn into Mo-Di - Moby Dick...
The writer is an engineer & CEO turned comedian (by choice), the host of NTV's The Naveed Mahbub Show and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club.
E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com