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HUMOROUSLY YOURS

Bath Island

NAVEED MAHBUB
IF it is a 'wash', then why are we surprised to see a guy in a towel? But you know you are no ordinary mortal if the camera not only trains on you at this instant, but you also have to pay to scratch parts of your own body. Wonder what the BCB would have done to Michael Jackson...
Shakib Al Hasan. Crotch behind. Good thing there were no gestures on the field, else he would have been a suspect for spot fixing.
Maybe it was another version of the marketing campaign 'scratch & win' through which Shakib was simply hoping to win the match. The next marketing campaign - 'scratch and win a chance to scratch'...
Makers of intimate apparels, please don't try to grab (no pun intended) Shakib to be your brand ambassador, because Dhaka City Corporation North (DCCN) may have already beaten you to the punch. His towel clad gesture may simply have been an invitation to join the public baths -the beautification objects on road dividers made of bathroom tiles.
The flak for using bathroom tiles in the name of beautification is unfair. Since we relieve ourselves everywhere in public (including road dividers), it is absolutely justified to use bathroom tiles as decoration for P-20.'
Or maybe these public baths are there to remind us of more Bangla Washes to come.
Ah! Public baths. The Ancient Romans would surely have migrated in droves...
Here's another (morbid) theory. The beautification objects (for lack of a better term) reminds us of high end graves. Perhaps, this is DCCN's attempt to remind us of fatal consequences while rash driving or jay walking.
No matter what the artistic motives, the construction work is surely fueled by a brickfield bonanza. Because the Parliament premises is also getting a facelift as a wall around the landmark is scheduled to go up. The classic case of 'keeping out' and 'keeping in.' It is necessary for the protection and security of the inhabitants - outside.
But many have echoed Ronald Reagan's words, "Tear down this wall!" as it has become the Great Wall of Chaee Naa (don't want).
A middle ground has been reached to give the look (and protection) of a zoo (I would like to say pun intended, but I do value my freedom). So, a fence is going up. Now won't that attract the BSF?
We sure have a method in our madness. It is 'crystal' clear that the word 'method,' has 'meth' in it, followed by 'od' (over dose). And if this is ammo to once again select Dhaka as the worst city to live in, I say, excellent! Please visit Dhaka especially during the games. Your bragging rights: “I survived the worst city on the planet" (T-shirts sold separately).
Where was I? Oh yes, Shakib and his moves. Momentary lapse? Absolutely. For him, every action has an instant reaction. As the nation reacted, so did he, as a gentleman, by apologising. Yes, he has been the butt of jokes, but, contrary to conventional wisdom, we joke only about those who we care about.
Meanwhile Shakib, next time, just rub your eyes.
The writer Is an engineer & CEO turned comedian (by choice), the host of NTV's The Naveed Mahbub Show and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club.
E-mail: naveed@inaveedmahbub.com