With all their responsibilities, women are always juggling and multitasking. But they are not allowed to miss a beat at any point of their waking hours. If they do, the remaining hours of the day are spent trying to step it up and catch up with the lost minutes.***

GENERALLY, in Bangladesh when people hear that a young woman in her 30s is holding a reputable position in a multinational/international company, is a faculty member of a university or executive in the telecom industry, or has any other job which is considered a lucrative position for any sex, they express their admiration. Their eyes glisten with pride and maybe a hint of jealousy at this woman's achievement and immediately conclude that she is leading the perfect dream life. But many are unaware that behind that picture-perfect image that she is portraying, there are struggles that she faces as a working woman who is juggling many roles simultaneously.

A woman professional of today is at the same time a daughter, daughter-in-law, wife, parent, chef, cleaner, educator, event manager, professional and many other role fillers. Similarly, a man holds many of these positions but is he equally active in all the roles as his wife? Moreover, are the expectations held equally from the position irrespective of their gender? Although at first instance, we may assume that both are juggling roles together, when the roles and responsibilities of a woman are put forth, the sharp contrast is undeniable when compared with her male counterpart.

Women, like their male colleagues, have to struggle equally hard if they want to excel in an extremely professional environment. Equal expectations are held from both and whoever performs better will climb the achievement ladder quicker. In the high expectation held job world of today, it is often mandatory to put in extra hours after office for office work, but women have difficulty in setting aside time for this purpose as they have other roles to fulfill during the remaining hours of the day.

Here, men have an advantage as they are able to put in that extra hour as no other work is more important for them in this "man as breadwinner" society. Even attending social events are mandatory for the professional women or else she will be blamed for not prioritising family. However, her white-collar job holding husband has the luxury of being excused due to workload.

Women also have social and household responsibilities and a very significant parental role to fulfill besides their full-time job. A wife is the better half of her husband and is expected to be the friend, partner and punching bag whenever the spouse desires, irrespective of her needs and desire. From a wife as she becomes a mother, the sole responsibility of the child/children is bestowed upon her although the father had an equal role in bringing them to the world. This can be witnessed very simply by looking at the number of times a father feeds, changes diapers or even baby-sits their child in the first few years of its life. This continues into the child's early age and onto young adulthood. But amusingly, children's successes are father's pride and their failures are because of the mother's incapability to provide proper upbringing. So the mother, although responsible for child's future achievements and failures, is given full credit for the failures but not for the successes.

Women, after coming home from work and on weekends, have household chores which include cleaning, cooking, buying grocery, etc. There is a prevalent misconception that with maid/helping hand in the house, a woman has to do nothing but give orders. But in reality, unless one has an expert chef and housekeeper, the role of helping hands are nominal and the major responsibility is on the woman.

Along with these, she also has to be an expert event manager because when to throw a party may be the decision of both but the rest of the responsibility is mostly upon the woman. She is to decide what to cook, decorate and arrange the house, serve the guests and also clean up after the party. Most husbands play a pivotal role in the whole process bu they do not fail to bask in the glory of the praises that follow a successful social event. Observing how well-planned these wives are in throwing these parties, I often think that Bengali woman are excellent event managers irrespective of their profession.

So with all these responsibilities, women are always juggling and multitasking. But they are not allowed to miss a beat at any point of their waking hours. If they do, the remaining hours of the day are spent trying to step it up and catch up with the lost minutes. As a result, when at work, they are worried about what is happening at home, what their children are doing and what needs to be done when she leaves office.

It is a different story for men who are able to separate work from family life. They are able to categorically cut off the outside world when at work, but not vice versa. Home may become an office without much hue and cry as it is widely accepted as a sign of being hard-working and meticulous. So from dawn to dusk, women struggle with different roles, displeasing their seniors at work, and their near and dear ones. Although they try hard to find a balance, many women feel lost and depressed.

The silver lining is that Bangladesh now has men who are more supportive towards their working wives. These men share household and childcare responsibilities and add two sturdy hands to the juggling activity of their spouse. As a spokesperson on behalf of the women of today, I can assume that they hope the number of men in this category increases substantially and their same sex peers are inspired to follow their footsteps. Having a compassionate and active better half would definitely enhance women's capability both at work and in the household domain, and make her a happier and fulfilled human being.

The writer is a Sociologist and Senior Lecturer, Independent University, Bangladesh (IUB).