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A wife’s darkest hour

Providing their daughter with a solid education, and encouraging her to pursue a career of her choice is the best dowry parents can ever give their daughter.

Shamrin Apia Adiba
THE recent death of the girl, Sheema, from Rangpur has really shocked me. She was doused with kerosene and set alight, leading to death by fire, because of dowry.
An astounding number of parents still don't lay enough emphasis on educating their daughters. They believe their daughters will get married eventually, and their husbands will support them, so why push them so hard? Those from middle and upper class backgrounds do send
their daughters to school, but don't emphasise career options.
I think that only a good education of girls can solve this problem. Get serious about your daughter's education. Encourage her to have a career of her own, no matter what your financial standing.
One of the reasons parents of the boy ask for dowry is that they often expect that their son will be earning and supporting the wife, and it is only fair that she contribute something towards the household by way of dowry.
If your daughter is educated and has as good a career as her husband to be, you've got a strong point in your favour. Women should concentrate on their education and career rather than regarding marriage as their only way of salvation. Instead of having their parents chasing after men of higher status, the women themselves should raise their own status so that the men run to them, begging the women to marry them.
With modernisation and the increasing role of women in a productive economy, creating other ways for wives to contribute to their families' economic well-being, one would expect support for the dowry system to diminish.
Providing their daughter with a solid education, and encouraging her to pursue a career of her choice is the best dowry parents can ever give their
daughter.
Nowadays, in upper-class families, often the boys' parents don't demand dowry, but our culture is such that we feel we must give something to the inlaws. My question is, isn't it a smart form of dowry? In that case, if you really want to give something, give as much as you receive or give as much as you can afford.
But the good thing is that, at present, our government is aware of it. Therefore, this system is changing. In the past, it was widely prevalent in our country. Now, we have a law that says that giving dowry or taking dowry is a crime. So, I think that this system will . be end soon if we stop giving dowry. i
Shamrin Afia Adiba is a BBAstudenl, American International University-Bangladesh (AIUB).