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The hive mind to the rescue
WITH A CLICK and a pop, my laptop stopped. (Try saying that six times very fast.)
I calmly waited for a few minutes — okay, it was a quarter of a nano-second, because I was panicking - and I tried again.
Again, the machine clicked into life, whined for a moment, and then whim-
pered and died, all within about eight seconds.
It was reminiscent of the life-cycle of a typical pop music boy-band.
Oh no! What to do? This laptop contained vast amounts of random jottings, essays and other unique written works which could easily have been sold to. discerning publishers for a derisory sum. as usual.
Why, if I could not get the thing back to life. I would lose months of saleable work and would have to slash back my spending for the year by a whole dollar. Maybe two!
Now 1 don't want you to think that I totally lost it. The subsequent five minutes I spent rolling around on the floor of the
coffee shop screaming was about a completely unrelated matter, which I will identifyassoonaslhave thought of some-thingplausible.
After regaining my composure and mopping up the blood, I picked up the dead laptop and went in search of a desk computer.
Finding one, I did an internet search for two particular terms, "troubleshooting" and my laptop's name, which was "Tammy-Amber Starr," no, I'm joking, it was "Thinkpad X200."
Up popped a site called Nerdwealth.com which said: "If you own a Thinkpad and it ever fails to boot, never fear."
It recommended giving the thing a
good thump in a specific spot.
1. Lift laptop up with right hand, keepingscreen open.
2. Find fan. (Back left corner. You can see the copper fins inside the vents.)
3. Strike laptop case near vents several times with heel of left hand.
4. Power Laptop back up. It should work.
I picked up my machine.
I turned it over.
I located the correct spot.
I thumped it.
I hit it again.
I walloped it a third time. (This felt good.)
I turned it the right way up again.
I pressed the "on” button.
It clicked.
It buzzed.
It whirred.
It came back to life, a black plastic Lazarus miraculously raised from the dead.
Scrolling down the screen at NerdWealth.com, I noticed that lots of people had had the same experience.
Here are a few comments, quoted from the site.
IMMZ wrote: "HOLY CRAP! It works!
That's amazing!!! Thanks so much."
Gromba wrote: "OMG! It worked. I love the internet.”
Mary wrote: "Wow! Thanks! I just bought an old Thinkpad on Ebay for $200 and I was afraid it was dead on arrival. 1
gave it a whack and now it is working."
I added my own comments in suitable language: "It totally worked!! OMG OMG OMG!!"
That evening, 1 mentioned the incident to my mentor/bartender.
He nodded. "You discovered the power of what is called the hive mind.' Some scientists reckon that the Internet community now has more intelligent problem-solving capability than all the world's supercomputers put together."
I was stunned at this, considering the ghastly grammar, juvenile spelling and over-use of exclamation marks on almost every comments board.
Or to put it another way, OMG!!!!
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