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Li Li and the creativity gap
OO Aoo. another friend gone. Top foreign correspondent Paul Wiseman, a buddy of mine, has been recalled toWashington. Budget cuts
mean lots of reporters are going home, but I’ll particularly miss this USA Today Asia correspondent, who combined excessive courage with extreme humility. A typical conversation went like this. Paul: Do anything exciting at the weekend?
Me Yeah! You betcha! Bought curtains for the back bathroom. What about you?
Paul: Nothing much. Got bombed in Afghanistan, kidnapped in Baghdad and assassinated in Pakistan. So, what color curtainylid you go for?
I was thinking about Paul as 1 was working on a regional news summary and noticed that the guy who wants to rule Afghanistan is called Abdullah Abdullah: the same name twice. Hah. And what if his middle name is also Abdullah?
Anyway, I turned the page of the newspaper and found that the person quoted in the China factory poisoning story was called Li Li. There was also a report about a panda named ling Ung, and a review of a UK tour by pianist Lang Lang.
Then I stumbled on an article about an 18th century US artist called William Williams, named after his grandfather William Williams. The artist married a woman named Mary Mare and they had a son, William. William Williams Jr had a son, William Williams, who had a nephew, William Williams, etc.
Hey, Williams family, your creativity level sucks.
Musing over this reminded me of a person I encountered in Hong Kong named So So-so. I was tempted to ask him how he was feeling, purely so that I could have the followingconversation.
Me: "How are you feeling today, So Soso?"
SOSO-SO: "So-so."
All this leads to an important question. What is the thought process of idiot parents who give their children a name they already have?"Our family is Bobbob. What shall we call our new baby? How about Bobbob?That will sound nice."
I'm sorry, Mr Bobbob, but it will not sound nice. It will sound incredibly stupid. It will sound like someone stuttering. And what if the child you curse with the name Bobbob Bobbob meets someone who does stutter?We'll be there for hours!
In this regard, we should give a bouquet to people from Sri Lanka and Thailand, who never double-up names. That's because they have ludicrously long names in the first place. For example, the Sri Lankan bowler Chaminda Vaas calls himself that because people fall asleep before he has completed telling them his actual name, which is Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas.That's not a name: it's a novella.
There is only one advantage to having
such a long name. It's very useful when you get stopped by a policeman who wants to give you a speeding ticket.
Officer: "You're speeding. Name?"
Driver: "Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas."
Officer (putting away his notebook): "Er, well don't do it again.”
Face it, what's that cop going to do? He's going to go and fulfill his arrest quota by arrestingsomeone he can spell.
Pianist Lang Lang, zipping along in the fastlane.betterwatchout.
On another topic, but a related one: big congratulations from all of us to Uli on the birth of her son. Konstantin, I'm sure, is as clever and beautiful as his mother (maybe his father also).
Uli, you have chosen a lovely name for him. Unless your family name is also Konstantin. In which case you will both feature in a follow-up column to the one above.
Looking for unique names for your children? Visit our columnist at www.vittachl.com