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Beaten into shape
THE physical education teacher at my school used to confuse the terms "corporal punishment" and ^capital punishment." When the headmaster said he would allow corporal punishment, my teacher thought he was allowed to kill us.
Rumour has it that he executed half the fifth grade before a youngster with a dictionary put him right Whatever happened, I m sure he never apologised. The nearest he would come to saying sorry would be something like, "I killed your children, but if you have any more. I'll just beat them to & pulp."
Corporal punishment is not banned in
schools in Sri Lanka. Singapore or Malaysia. It is banned in mainland China. Bangladesh and India, but happens anyway. In Hong Kong, students could be caned until the early 1990s, but only male ones.
In Korea, everyone hits everyone Teachers cane students, headmasters cane teachers, teachers cane each other for fun in the staff room. It's a sort of greeting. "Good morning." Thwack. "How are you?"Thwack. "Fine, thanks. "Thwack.
But patches of Asia have suddenly become as soft-hearted as the West when it comes to punishments. Proof? Here's a recent report from an Indian news website called news@4: "Angry teachers chose to dehumanise three boys aged between 12 and 14." Sounds painful, right? But the report goes on to explain that what the teachers actually did was clip off part of the boys' hair, leaving them with seriously bad haircuts.
Surely this is a clever way of punishing
teenagers? It does them no physical harm, but devastates them by leaving them looking uncool in the eyes of other teens.
I suppose it's good that teachers in Asia can no longer assassinate our kids (depends when you ask me) but I am surprised that this region so quickly developed western-style hysteria about the subject. The article used the words "barbaric" and "torture." I mean if giving someone a bad haircut is an arrestable offence, every hairdresser in India should be immediately jailed for 500 years.
AU over the world, people arc getting reaUy soft. A friend of mine in US saw a fight in which a drunk woman spat at an armed policeman. The officer was rushed to hospital to be treated at a "biohazard centre." This is now standard procedure in US.
How things have changed. When I was a kid, I dreamed of being spat upon. To do so, the school bullies would have had to
pause from their usual activity, which was to jump up and down on me with steeltoed boots. Teachers would bring eventu-aUy bring peace to the playground by rushing in and beating aU concerned with wooden paddles, especially the victim.
Corporal punishment did me no harm whatsoever, other than to turn rpe into an unstable, traumatised wreck with scars, a limp and a predilection to bite chunks out ofpoficecars.
But if any teachers in Asia are reading this, just remember: it's corporal punishment, which is sometimes aUowed, not capital punishment. Student executions are still generally frowned upon in schools.
Having said that, you only have to confuse capital and corporal punishment once or twice and your school will be pretty much free of discipline problems from troublemakers forevermore.
It worked forme.
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