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Rights in the in-law enclave

Muneera Parbeen
IT'S actually quite stupefying to think that women themselves also act against the rights of their own kind. A section of male readers could jump up at the previous sentence and breathe a sigh of relief. And yet, that remains the reality.
There are mothers and guardians who always, wishing to conform to society, hold back their female children from living life to the full. And by that I don't mean just partying, going out, and wearing fancy clothes. I mean living life to the full in its fullest meaning. From reaching out for their full potential.
Take, for instance, the entire in-law mechanism in a society as ours. Mothers-in-law, whatever they might believe in theory, are not known for their support for the emancipation of the women under their immediate control.
I know there are a lot of mothers-in-law who are better and more just. But I talk about the majority of those who are not It's not unusual in our society to find that mgywrsHnJ^w^aje^gn^ huge force that actually takes pleasure out of belittling a woman's personal rights.
A woman, once married, and especially if she is compelled to live in a joint family, is more or less subjected to the control of her in-laws. It is the "duty" of the daughter-in-law to look after the house, nurse and care for the elderly, cook, clean, entertain, and hold up the family status without a word of protest. In other words, her only function in life is to obey the tyranny of her in-laws.
Extremely upsetting to think about, but nevertheless the real picture. And society has taught us to conform to the uncivil practices nurtured by many, so much so that we are even scared to talk about it in public.
A false sense is instilled in us while young, that by holding up pretensions - as all is fine at home when it is not - we try to buy "respect" (izzat) from our fellow society dwellers.
Many a mother-in-law will point out that certain tasks are only a daughter-in-law's responsibility and duty. And these usually include all the difficult tasks in the house with meticulous detail. Most of them serve to a large extent only the needs and comforts of the in-laws.
The situation is worse if the mother-inlaw has herself been ill-treated by her own mother-in-law in her time. She will bide her time till she gets her a daughter-in-law in the house, to sort of take revenge for the own wrongs she suffered.
" But I had to do all these in my time and I never uttered a word'" she will point out
Muneera Parbeen is a Sub-Editor. The Daily Star
time and again to her victim.
She will never stop to remember though, that torturing daughters-in-law, physically or mentally, is wrong. They remain as wrong as they were when the same was done to herself when she was a young bride.
There will be few from the same household to come to the support of the victim, because people usually take the easy route out by up telling themselves that "that's the way things are in our coun-try/society/culture/religion."
No one bothers to think whether the things done are right or wrong.
For the full version of Ous artide please read the month's Foum. a va.Iab*e free with The Dafy Star on Monday May 4