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How to fix the world
NOT again! Every day I pick up the newspaper and every day I read the same thing. ‘World :inancial Crisis Gets Worse. Experts baffled."
What’s the big deal? Last weekend I ixed a broken kitchen blender, which s a darn sight more complicated And t only took me seven hours and help rom three neighbours.
Yet the people who run the planet ;eem to have no idea how to fix the janking system.
Now 1 hate to be racist or sexist, but tow about we try being racist and sexist about all this? White guys have un the planet for years. Look at the ness we're in. How about letting non-vhite females have a go?
I sat down at the night market with a jroup of friends, none of whom were bankers, and most of whom were Asian vomen. I asked them for suggestions in How to Fix the World. The women accepted the challenge and used a secret weapon to generate ideas: Extra-Hot Sweet Chili Sauce. (The chili •riggers endorphins in the brain and
he sugar powers the neurons.)
Here's the list they made.
All male world leaders should imme-iiately step down and hand their jobs o their wives. No exceptions. Bye-bye, Jarack, hello, Michelle.
The price of oil should be raised 10-old. This will force businessmen to valk to work until they realise they leed to make vehicles using natural mergy.
It should become illegal for any country to adopt a single religious dcology. Whenever national borders ind religious borders match, trouble bllows.
Marijuana should be made legal and axed at the same level as alcohol and
rigarettes. Crime would fall, govern-nent income would shoot upwards --ind universities would become funky, :reative places.
The wording on wedding services should be switched around so that the ;uy promises to "love, honour and )BEY" the woman.
The rulers of one-party states (listen jp, China, Malaysia, Hong Kong and iingapore) should stop pretending to jc democratic. They should call themselves "dictatorships" or actually become democratic. Only democratic :ountrics can become rich, stable, ree, happy, creative societies. (Two >ut of five ain’t good enough.)
Chinese leaders need to realise that
luman rights are for humans, and that ncludes their people.
It would be a fantastic service to tumanity if a hacker got into the Swiss janking system and located all the ietails of people with secret accounts. Phen we ll publish their names so that everyone can look and gasp.
The death penalty should be abol-shed in every country, although I don't mind if you keep it for people vho send out spam emails.
A law should be passed which says hat no one is allowed to gel married intil they have dated at least one per-:on of a different ethnic background.
The constitutions of Sri Lanka, srael, Palestine and America should
ac replaced with the words of Abraham Lincoln, here paraphrased: "You can't destroy an enemy with a gun. You can )nly destroy him by making him your riend."
Every community needs to have a ’enuinely free press, printed and on-inc (China and Singapore, arc you istening?) so that people can trash ;tupid officials, bad governments and >ad ideas.
And so articles like this can be )rinted.
You know it makes sense.
■or more idea on how to fix the world visit out columnist at aw vittachi com