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Facebook made me do it

Facebook is our own personal reality show and our friends are the stars. What else besides "American Idol" or "Project Runway" allows you to be so judgmental while wearing pajamas?

Raina Kelley
Everybody loves to complain about Facebook But I've been wading through the nonstop commentary over the last few weeks and I've made a startling discovery. Everybody also lies about why they use Facebook After exhaustive research, here are the seven lies you tell yourself about Facebook
I only friend people I know: You will friend anyone. You wantyour friend count
to be sky-high. That's why I accept all sorts of people I haven't seen in 20 years. I refuse to have one less friend than my arch nemesis from college. Admit it, you're no better than I am — how many of your "friends” would you invite to your house? Facebook made me do it Facebook didn't make you tell all 1,3B4 of your friends that you once had chlamydia. Facebook didn't hold your hand onto the mouse and force you to type things. Psychiatrists call this "externalising blame." It's a way to lay-off
shame and self-loathing onto somebody (or something) else so you can feel better about yourself.
Wall-to-wall flirting isn't cheating: Just because it's called "social networking'' doesn't make hard-core online flirting OK. Do not try and tell me you were surprised when your boyfriend left you after he read your wall-to-wall with his cousin. Also, stop sending your assistant cute virtual gifts. Virtual gifting counts. Same thing goes for wall-to-wall stalking the love of your 7th grade life. Online harassment is just as bad as the bricks and mortar kind.
I use Facebook to keep in touch with people: You're nosy. Admit it. You scour the profiles of other people to know their business. Facebook isn't addictive -- your desire to know what other people are up to is addictive. The over-sharing thrills you. I
know I'm hooked. Don't you hunt through your friends' walls looking for any scrap of information that will produce that warm tingly schadenfreude feeling?
Facebook is our own personal reality show and our friends are the stars. What else besides "American Idol" or "Project Runway" allows you to be so judgmental while wearing pajamas? If people stopped revealing ridiculous stuff about themselves in their status updates, "Rock of Love" would beyour "guilty pleasure" instead.
You know you're dying to discover your college roommate lives in a trailer in his mom's backyard. I literally cried from joy when I saw that an ex-boyfriend was sporting a comb-over.
I'm soooo over Facebook: You love Facebook for exactly the reasons you pretend to hate it... it's the BigThing. And
we're not falling for that ironic distancing pose you've been adopting lately. We know you spend hours looking for former girlfriends or that guy who you loved but didn't have the courage to talk to. I tried to act all Margaret Meadish when I first joined Facebook But everybody knew I wasn't on there doing social anthropology. I was on there because I wanted to snicker at that girl I went to elementary school with, who reports every single one of the eight pomegranate martinis she drinks every night.
I am soooo not competitive: We don't just want more friends than everybody else; we also want the highest score in Word TWist recently spent nearly 24 hours playing Scramble on Facebook until I had a higher score than my friend. Why? Because I knew Facebook would send him
a note that said: "Raina has beaten your personal high score on Scramble." When he commented on his complete and total defeat, I just said: "I didn't know Facebook would tell you that. OMG! LOU" We love Facebook because it allows you to gloat to your heart's content and hide that self-satisfied smirk on your face behind the wall of the Internet.
Facebook is my friend: No, it's a business. Everyone knows casinos hide the exits and pump oxygen into the air to keep you gambling and get all your money. Facebook is doing the same thing but with avatars and Food Flings. They want to trap you behind their dotcom walls so they can attract advertisers.
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