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Play your part in the financial crisis: Have a gloat
COLUMNS about the current financial crisis fill the newspapers. Yet, a reader points out that the most important issue of all has not yet been considered: Should we gloat?
For decades, unbelievably rich bankers have been filling supermarket trolleys with Porches, yachts and mansions, while the rest of us struggle to pay for the basic staples of life (food, shelter and a broadband internet connection).
Now overpaid fat cats are being thrown out on the street in vast numbers.
"It seems to me that the correct response from the normal person on the street would be to gloat hysterically in a maniacal fashion," reader Sunita Chau told me.
But, she is unsure whether she should go down to the financial district and dance around on the pavements, saying, "Serves you right, fat b”*tds," or whether a more measured response would be appropriate, such as wearing a t-shirt with a message on it saying: "Don't blame me: I kept my money under my mattress” or "At last my broker is broker than 1 am" or "Jump, banker, jump."
This is an interesting question, Sunita, which I passed on to an investment banker, who agreed to comment as long as I did not print his name.
"People shouldn't gloat," he said. "First, half the people thrown out of work are support staff who earn very little, and a proportion of the others are juniors, who get a medium salary, but work round the clock, seven days a week for it."
I thought about this and realised why he did not wish to give his name. "So, the only people who deserve to be sneered at are those at the top of the ladder such as you?"
"Er, yes, I suppose so," he replied.
I made a rude noise and put the phone down.
But my sympathies were aroused by the fact that one of my neighbours worked in Asia for Bear Stearns, and when that
died, she shifted to Lehman Bros - and watched that firm crumble from the inside. I couldn't possibly gloat at her. She is not just a nice person, but a veritable Mother Teresa when it comes to doing good works in her spare time.
To adjudicate on the matter I went to the wisest person I know: my mentor/ bartender. He gave the matter some thought while he fixed me a stiff drink of double orange juice with a little something in it (orangejuice).
"I would recommend selective gloating," he said. "Most employees of banks get salaries which are not that much above the norm. They deserve sympathy. But the people who created this horrible crisis are the greedy, over-paid decisionmakers at the top of the ladder --the directors and chairmen."
"So it's okay to gloat at their misery?”
"It's our DUTY to gloat at their misery," he said. "In fact, there should really be organised
gloating sessions, where masses of ordinary people can assemble and gloat for 10 to 15 minutes as a sort of public service."
That's a neat idea. Here's one way of doing it. Take a deep breath. Call up images of greedy top bankers on to your computerscreen. Make a rude finger gesture at the screen while making a scornful "nyeh-nyeh" noise. Oh, that feels GOOD.
(And when no one is looking, I shall have a little dance.)