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Love and other dangerous non-Asian concepts
THE Western concept of lurrve as an amazingly allpowerful, all-conquering emotional bond between one man and one woman (San Francisco excepted) has no relation whatsoever to the Asian idea of love, which is much more practical.
On this side of the planet, love is more like a Provisional Sales and Purchase Agreement. The buyer has a brief look at the goods on offer (prospective daughter-in-law), tries to decide whether they are compatible with what he already has (dissolute son), and then plonks down the money.
Recognising this practical, finance-based attitude to love, a company in Jilin Province, China, started a Dad Rental service. Single parents in Changchun city (most of whom are women) can hire a man to be “the missing role model" for their children at weekends. No lurrve necessary.
The guy’s job is to turn up on Saturdays and do what Asian husbands normally do at weekends. By my understanding, this means they are being paid to drink local beverages, belch, and fall asleep in front of the television. I’m posting my job application this afternoon. Why should I continue to do all that for nothing?
But apparently there have been complaints. The guys they signed up are single and have never been dads, so they don't know what an Asian father's actual role in childraising is. 1 have news for them: neither do most Asian fathers.
In my family, the generation above me included a family group with four sisters. Three had Asian-style arranged marriages and got on fine. One (my mother) married for lurrve and her marriage broke up. I have three children and when they want partners I will do it the Asian
way, by paying large fees to headhunters at an executive search firm.
In Asia, love not only starts with practical considerations, but ends with them. In Japan, you can pay for the services of a wakaresaseya -- a Professional Breaker-Upper.
Is your spouse/ boyfriend/ girlfriend madly in love with someone at work? Pay a small fee (well, often quite a large fee) to the wakarasaseya and he will use a variety of methods to break up the happy couple, including shaming, intimidation and bribery.
Sometimes Professional Breaker-Uppers even boast that they can make the Other Woman or Other Man pay back all or most of the cash spent on them on chocolates, dinners, cinema visits and so on.
It's a useful service to have, and I think uniquely Asian. But having said that, I remember writing about an interesting case in Osaka. A Breaker-Upper was hired by a wronged wife to stop an affair between her husband (he was a good catch, because he was a company president) and one of his staff. The operatives promised to not only part the pair but make the woman "kowtow for mercy and paysomemoneyback."
But after four months of attempting to split the twosome as energetically as they could, the Breaker-Uppers went back to the wife and admitted defeat There was some curious bond between the two, which could not be broken by any threats, enticement financial inducements, oranythingelse, they reported.
It was a strange and bizarre phenomenon they had never encountered before.
Yes. It could only have been that strange Western concept, now invading Asia. Lurrve. Be very afraid.
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