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The butler didn’t do it, the fish did
POLICE in the US are investigating a possible case of conspiracy to murder by fish. No, the fish didn't have a gun, nor did anyone hit anyone with a soggy fillet. Suspicious activity by a man ordering Japanese fugu -- highly poisonous puffer fish — is at the root of the case.
Now fugu is similar to infamous deadly American foods such as "burger and fries," but it kills you faster (slightly).
Unless a specially trained chef cuts out the fugu's liver and other bits, the consumer ends up as dead as his dinner. Every year, several Japanese seafood lovers eat themselves to death (which I must admit, as a seafood lover, sounds like a nice way to go.)
But scientists in Nagasaki made an interesting discovery. "We believe that puffer fish acquire poison by eating poisonous food, such as starfish and shellfish, rather than producing it themselves. So we fed them non-poisonous food," a scientist told the press. The result: poison-free fugu.
Fugu-fans scoffed at this by saying they won't scoff it. "Non-toxic fugu is boring. Fugu is exciting because it's toxic," restaurateur Takeshi Yamasuge Said.
But what gourmet would be able to resist a dish made of fugu liver -- the part that usually can only be tasted once, since it causes speedy death?
The scientists argue that there will be a big market, arguing that a significant number of people haven't tried fugu because they don't fancy eating one of the world's deadliest poisons. Strange, that.
Staying with the seafood theme, scientists on the beaches of Pangloa island in the Philippines found rocks which appear to move around on their own. The creatures
look like they are made of stone, but are believed to be a hitherto unknown species of crab.
"It looks like a piece of rock Then you turn it to the other side and you see the legs, the eyes, the mouth," a scientist, told the AFP newswire. He believes there are dozens of strange and bizarre species of life in the Philippines. Unfortunately, most of them go into politics.
The whole Asian seafood scene is a lively one.
I once read about a fish in Indonesia who exacted a dramatic revenge on a fisherman who was in the habit of crushing the heads of live fish with his teeth. As Marjono, 34, lowered the gabus fish towards his mouth, it wriggled out of his hand and jumped down his throat. The man died of suffocation in Central Java, the Jakarta Post reported.
And then there was the fisherman in Malaysia who was attacked by a swordfish. It leapt out of the water, stabbed him in the heart, and then leapt back into the sea, leaving him to bleed to death.
What docs all this prove? It looks to me like the seafood has decided to take revenge against humanity after centuries of abuse.
Worst of all was the case of the man in Taiwan who had a live baby octopus on his plate. He popped the beast into his mouth whole. The aggrieved creature spread itself out inside the man's mouth and choked him to death -- and survived the experience.
How embarrassing for a human to get into a battle-to-the-death with a small seafood appe-tizerand lose. How would he ever again show his face at the fugu shop?
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