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In Asia, anyone can be leader, especially mannequins
Iwas standing by a newsstand which sells a range of Asian papers when I noticed almost all of them had glowing articles about Obama Bin Laden, who is now applying for the job of US president. Cheeky man!
The odd thing was that there were positive articles about this even in militant newspapers with a policy of never printing the word "America" without the prefix "evil aggressor." They do this so religiously that their younger readers think the phrase is part of the country’s name, as in: "The nations of the world include Great Britain, the Virgin Islands and the United Evil Aggressors of America."
Why do people on this side of the planet like Mr. Obama? Well, the obvious reason is that he's Asian. Now I know that technically he's not, but spiritually he is. He has an Asian name, he has black hair, he has dark brown eyes, and -- this is the clincher -- he likes to eat chilli so hot it has to be served in lead-lined bowls by aides in radiation suits.
According to the infallible Asian science of feng shui, Mr. Obama is guaranteed to win the US election. (The hair parting of his rival John McCain points southwest, poor fella.)
His presence in the world's top job will go a small way towards making America marginally cool, after a long history of being uncool. You see, only the funkiest, most sophisticated places in the world can elect folk destined by the gods to be spat upon (minorities, women, foreigners, tourists).
This region is totally cool. The first place in the world to elect a female prime minister was Asia (Sri Lanka in 1960). Even Muslim Bangladesh followed with several female premiers, as have other Asian nations.
In Asia, we even find a rare example of one race being peacefully governed by a tiny group from another race: Hong Kong from 1841 to 1997. (Tty to imagine a small group of Frenchmen taking over Britain. There would be riots within the hour.)
India elects any one who asks nicely. Winners include women (such as Indira Gandhi), Sikhs (Manmohan Singh), bearded men (Inder Kumar Gujral), clean shaven ones (Atal Bihari Vajpayee) and even a female European tourist: Sonia Gandhi It's not just civic leaders either. Last week, an
Indian business school elected a monkey statue as president.
Asia has variety. North Korea once elected a rotting corpse for Supreme Leader and currently has a leader with all the appeal of a rotting corpse.
In fact, I think there's only one major country in Asia, which remains totally predictable in the election stakes. Clearly there is a secret rule which says the leader of China MUST be male, stocky, boring, elderly, bespectacled, and have the charisma of a lettuce.
In fact, most of China’s top people are so alike that I suspect they are churned out in large