THIS is a key week in the history of youth culture for three reasons. Three of the world's top role models for young people are poised to take the limelight.

First, we have singer R. Kelly, one of the top blues and rap singers of recent years. Mr. Kelly has been charged with various unsavoury crimes involving children and is due to appear this week, (May 9) not on stage, but in court.

He recently expressed his deep contrition by saying in an interview (I am not making this up): "I'm the Ali of today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now."

A lot of people are also starting to realize that Mr. Kelly may soon have problems squeezing his ego into smaller quarters than those he is used to.

Then there is the top selling female pop singer of the past decade, Britney Spears, who has a special gig today (May 6) in a court room. At the earlier hearing, judges decreed that wealthy mother-of-two Ms. Spears does not have the ability to cope with (a) being wealthy or (b) being a mother of two or (c) being. Ms. Spears expressed her humility by telling the media: "I don't like defining myself. I just am."

Many of us could probably think of good alternative ways of finishing that sentence.

The third major role model

for young people is Dan Houser, author of some of the world's bestselling video games. Hitting shops this week is his latest effort, Grand Theft Auto IV. It teaches youngsters the following lessons about life.

All women are prostitutes or strippers. Why save up to buy a car when you can just steal one? A good career choice these days is "transporter of illegal drugs." No one but a fool goes out of the house without loaded weapons. Guns should be used at the

slightest provocation. Driving is much more fun ifyou do it drunk or stoned. Add drama to your leisure time by running over innocent pedestrians. Drive-by shootings arc also a good laugh.

You get extra points if you shoot a police officer. Hire a prostitute and instead of paying, beat her with a baseball bat

A few people dared to suggest that Grand Theft Auto IV might not be an ideal role model for children. Perhaps we above? The bad news is I don't think there's anything we can do. The good news is that being hugely egotistical is a surefire way of cultivating bad karma. In the words of John Lennon: "Karma's going to get you." Mr. Lennon wrote some great songs, but had a massive ego and a drug-addled private life. And events sadly seemed to prove him right

Visit the world's only websito with no pix of Britney Spears www.vittachLcom.

shouldn't market "murder simulators" to impressionable youngsters, said a lawyer named JackThompson.

Did Mr. Houser respond by changing the game from age 15 to "adults only?" No. He replied by introducing a new character. A lawyer who looks suspiciously like JackThompson gets threatened by a gunman and replies: "Guns don't murder people. Video games do."

What do we do about people like the three role models