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Easterners more polite than Westerners, but we spit more
SIANS are more polite in greeting each other than Westerners, readers believe. (Expats, please remember that the
next time we spit on your shoes.)
Simon Chung commented. "Ifthere isapan-Asian element inAsian English, it would be politeness in greetings. For example, the Chinese greetyou with Lai gwai sing ah? Which means ’What is your honourable name?' The Japanese never ask for your name, which is namae, but always for your worthy name, which is 0-namae. Indians always say, Your good name please?’ This is in contrast to Westerners, who will simply look you in the eye and say And you are...?'"
Many readers agreed that Asian Englishes are dialects distinct from original English. Reader Usha Narayanan sent in some specifically Malaysian examples based on our earlier column on the subject
"Has he arrived?" becomes "He hereoredy-ah?"
"Don't be shy" becomes "No nidshy-wan."
"I am irritated by the fact that Caucasians wake up late" becomes “Mat salleh always sleep too much one lah. Damn fras."
"You are well dressed" becomes "Wah, real stylo-man you."
"What do you mean?" becomes "Whyyou say li dat?"
Thanks Usha, your sentences transport me back to warm summer nights eating laksa in Penang.
From Mary Tan: "In Singapore, 'Excuse me, I need to use the rest room' becomes Toilet-toilet'"
You can often spot Asian English by hearing a single sentence, said reader Ameena Chowdhury "Here's a conversation which looks like it is in English, but every sentence is characteristically South Asian," she said. (In the following, Yaar
means "dude," bhai means "brother" and babais "father.")
"Yaar, open the aircon."
"No, off it. It has been on since four hours. My head is paining."
" I will gift you an aspirin, bhai."
"Never mind. I have to go to aty, to mybaba'ssui tings and shirtings shop."
Globalized communications are further confused by the fact Americans think of Asians as a single group. Reader Joe Roces gives the example of a Star Trek character called Khan Nonien Singh, played by Ricardo Montalban. The character's name appears to be Mongolian, he is supposed to be a Sikh, and he is played by a Latin American.
Several readers wrote about the theory that people in Asia can be summed up by foodstuffs such as bananas (yellow on the outside, white on the inside). Reader Peter Emmett added: 'There should also be a Sour Cream (white on the outside and white on the inside). These are people who constantly complain about how things are done in Asia and how much better I things are done 'at home.' Where Sour Cream Types can be found: at most expat gatherings when the weather is too hot. too cold, too wret, too dry, too humid..."
Reader Carmen To, who has Chinese blood but is culturally halfBritish, says that she reckons she is a I Chinese drink made of milk, honey I and ginger. "I am that drink because I every ingredient in it is good... lean I be a master of tricks at times, but I don't worry, most of the time, I am I smooth like milk, sweet like honey I and hot and sassy like ginger." ;
There's no answer to that.
Sour, sweet smooth or hot people should contact
Nuryviawwwvittachl.com.