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For ex-pats, the smart move is to play dumb
AN inability’ to speak Asian languages can be helpful, reader Mick Wilkinson discovered.
| Mick, who lives in Australia, has an unpleasant memory’ of one night in Hong Kong when he had to rush his baby son to hospital and spend the night propped up in a chair.
As dawn broke, he went to get his car - - only to find that a yellow metal wheel clamp had been padlocked to its wheel. He'd parked next to a no-parking sign which was written in Chinese only.
Stung by the unfairness of the situation, he bought a pair of metal cutters from a nearby hardware store and snipped the padlock off.
Then he spent a long minute thinking about whether to race off in his car and take the wheel clamp with him, and thus never have to worry about parking problems again. But in the end, he did the honourable thing, and purchased a shiny new padlock, leaving it on top of the yellow clamp.
A few months later, he received an envelope from the hospital's parking service. It contained a photograph of his clamped car and a hefty bill for the equivalent of USS200 to cover a US$50 fine plus "administrative expenses."
"Fair enough, staples don't comecheap," he joked to his wife.
Then he had an idea. He sat down and wrote a letter explaining that he was a Westerner and thus suffered from profound stupidity at not being able to master Chinese characters.
"To my surprise, a week later I received a personal letter from the manager, cancelling my well-deserved debt in full." he said.
From Dan Kubiske, a foreign correspondent: "You pose the
question, why do Asian men collect Hello Kitty’ items? To be honest. I don't know. But maybe it is because they can actually get lucky in a Japanese bar with: 'Would you like to come up and see my Hello Kitty’collection?'"
So let's pass the question over to y’oung female readers. Why do today's Asian women prefer wimpy, metro-sexual guys to the macho members of the previous generation?
Joe Roces, a Filipino reader living in the United States, was dismayed to hear about the rise of metro-sexual Asians. He wrote: "Here in the States, Asian-American males are embroiled in a bitter battle to fight the public perception that Asian men are effeminate, nerdy, or just plain losers. Looks like we won t be getting help from our cousins out east." Joe admitted that he did wear hair gel to shape his locks (he favours the porcupine look). | "But it only takes me about five minutes average, ten max. And yes, you can touch it if you want."
US congressman Phil Gingrey recently said he was unhappy that people "with Asian and Indian names" dominated the list of top scorers in tests in his district. He asked Bill Gates, who has been lobbying for more work visas to be given to skilled Asians, whether "youngsters who look like me" would find the influx of foreign workers a deterrent to choosing technology careers.
Phil, baby, this is rhe year 2008 and you are on a globalised planet. There are many smart people on this planet who have Asian names and don't look like you, and some are even American citizens. Whoa, is he in for a shock.
Visd Nury on www attach' com to share your own east-west tales.