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Memories of a good man

M. AZIZUL JALIL
I heard the news from Dhaka on July 12, 2003 morning (Washington time), within a few hours of the death of my dearest friend Syed Ishtiaq Ahmed. Just then, I felt a great need to share my grief with common friends and indeed, with whoever would listen. Being abroad, opportunities for sharing such a loss outside my own family were extremely limited. Consequently, I had the same day written about my heartache in a few pages of emotion and sentiments, which some Dhaka papers published soon thereafter.
A year has now passed and there has not been a single week when I did not remember him, miss him, or recollect our many conversations over more than a half-century. I believe that on this first anniversary of Ishtiaq's death, there would be many articles by more competent persons than me about his
professional achievements and leadership role in the civil society. I would therefore, say only a few words about his personal qualities.
Ishtiaq was such a good friend and a good person that in all my years at home and abroad, I have not met many people with the unique qualities of head and heart that he possessed. He combined the refined manners and courtesy of a man from the United Provinces (where his family originated) and the liveliness, simplicity and quick wit of a person from Bangladesh (a country where he grew up and excelled). He was always sincere and forthright, otherwise he would refrain from speaking and intervening. He was always respectful of others, particularly his seniors. His affection and helpfulness to younger people and his juniors knew no bounds. With regard to his close friends, of which I was lucky to be one, he would go out of his way with his time, influence and resources to be of help.
He was very good company and loved to be among friends. He would not allow his busy professional schedule and social obligations to stand in the way of giving almost unlimited time to dear friends. I sometimes failed to understand how he was able to manage his affairs to accommodate such diverse demands on his time and energy. Yet, there was always a smile on his face; he would not laugh loudly, particularly if it was embarrassing to others. Consideration for others was uppermost in his mind. To all, he came across as a lovable and amiable personality.
Ishtiaq was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He was a self-made man; whatever he achieved, he earned it by his own merit and hard work. There was always a quiet dignity about him. He was modest and could never be arrogant or pompous. He would speak about the good things happening to him only with his close friends and in private. When he became successful in his profession, which was quite early in life, he maintained a generous lifestyle, readily sharing enjoyment with friends. Ishtiaq was well-known for his generous hospitality. He was also a good husband and loved his two children dearly. Towards the end, he would be overly protective and concerned about his family, particularly his grandchildren. When I teased him about it and said that it was too much, he would smile and tell me, "Wait, soon you will yourself appreciate the attachments and concerns of a grandfather."M. Azizul Jalil, a former civil servant and retired World Bank staff member, writes from Washington.