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COy Ceddybecxr'

Co My Ceddybear

by Raihan Jamil
MY dearest Teddybear, This is probably my first and last letter to you, before you become someone rise's "inspirations of life." I never thought that I'd have to write letters to you. in order to be with you! Now. I am writing to you, to relieve some of the immense pain I am now going through. A letter is probably the best mode of communication, when one can not share things with another. The very thought that I can never be the same old' Daddy to my dearest daughter again is making me panic.
I still remember the day, as if it were only yesterday, when you were born. When the doctor told me that you were born, I felt elated. I wanted to shout at the top of my voice until it cracked I wanted the whole world and the stars to know that, I have a little daughter now and that she has the cutest possible face anyone could ever imagine, and the cutest smile. I exactly remember the first time I took you on my laps. I kissed your cheeks and said, "From now on. you will be the sole purpose of my existence, my dearest Teddybear. You'll be my heart and my soul and my world."
How quickly time passes! Now. I can't even think of carrying you on my shoulders, like the old times, and walk through the parks late at night, under the blazing stars. Neither can I think of telling any bed time stories to anyone. You've grown up so quickly!
I still remember the day, clearly, when you were sick one time, and couldn't sleep at night. You wanted me to carry you on my lap and walk in the garden. And 1 did exactly so. I carried you all night and walked in the garden, until you slept in the early morning. It was the sweetest pain any father could ever bear. And now. all I have been left with is some sweet memories. The time for creating memories are Ay^Jt's time tog^bagk and ^atFithe book?we have all thWftfcrs.
That is the only hope I am left with. I’ve selected someone, who will love you and care for you very much, to be your life partner. And the fact that, no matter whose Wife or daughter-in-law you will be from now on. the whole world knows that, you are only "my" daughter and will live that way, makes me a bit relieved from my agony.
Twice in my life, you've made me cry. The first time was at your third birthday, when in front of all the guests, you said. "Daddy, I love you more than anyone else in my life", and I started to cry out loud, like a baby. The guests were so surprised! However, I was the happiest person in the whole world.
And now, the pain of loving and losing has left me speechless. No one can hear the silent cries of my heart, nor can they see my tears. I am dying in pain. From tomorrow, you will be the brightest star of someone rise's sky. I feel like, I am the saddest person of this whole world. I pray to God, so that I have the strength of bearing this pain.
Of course, I admit that, now I can save some of my earnings — maybe a huge part of it. even. But then again, how can anyone measure the opportunity cost of love?! Moreover, there were some hidden pride in knowing that, my daughter is so popular that, she gets a lot of crank calls!
You had come into my arms, crying, into this unknown, queer world. And tomorrow, you will be walking away from these arms, crying, into yet another world. Both of these worlds are loving and caring and yet, they are so very different. You are the only bridge between these worlds — and so you can share them both. At this moment, I can only wish that, you have the same "Teddybear” for yourself as you had been for me, and say — "I will be here always, for you.”
From
Your Loving Father