Most of us, at one time or another, have faced social situations where a witty response to a sarcastic comment from someone has been imperative. Similarly, most of us have also faced the humiliation of a- moment where the aforementioned witty response has totally failed to materialise, leaving us spluttering with indignation, and unable to retire from the situation with any semblance of dignity.

A cartoon strip I recently saw illustrates this point. A man and his wife are seen having returned from a party, and are preparing to retire for the night. The man is seething over assorted comments made at his expense "" " by those who attended the party (all of which he has clearly failed to ■respond to in an" appropriately witty fashion!) So. as he prepares for bed, he complains to his wife. "When he said that. I should have said .... blah, blah, blah" After he has gone through this routine several times, his wife finally gets fed up of listening to him. and says.

Whey don't you just shut up. • and go to bed!" Five minutes later, the man is seen

horse!”

Often, there is a sense of satisfaction in scoring points off someone in this fashion even when the individual concerned is not present at the time. An uncle of mine had gone to visit an acquaintance of his who was reknowned for his bad temper, and his savage guard dog. To warn people off. there was a large sign posted on his gate, saying "BEWARE OF THE DOG .... THIS DOG BITES". When my uncle arrived there, he asked if the gentleman was at home, and was informed that he had In fact gone out. "So why haven't you taken the sign off?" he enquired of the astonished servant, before sauntering off.

Finally. the

ultimate satisfaction in such cases can sometimes be when the person at whose expense the comment is being made does not even understand that this is the case. Take a colleague of mine whose boss was infamous for being extremely obnoxious (and not particularly quick-witted either). After a particularly bad day at work, when he chose to subject his

subordinates to a tirade about their

lying in bed. and thinking to himself, when she said that. I should have said "I

There are of course, some fortunate individuals who always have a ready quip for the situation at hand (non doubt these are the same individuals whose sarcastic comments the rest of us usually fall to respond to in time!) An example of this was a person I known who ran into someone whom he despised. The latter Individual was a pompous idiot, and was at the time proudly riding a horse he had recently purchased in an attempt to show how westernised he was "What do you think? How do I look?" he queried, no doubt expecting extravagant praise of his horsemanship. He was sorely disappointed. Without missing a beat, the first man said. "I reafly don't know what to think. You see. this the first time I’ve seen a jackass riding a

various Inadequacies, they were still smarting from his comments when my colleague gave a long and apparently soothing speech to this man

Acknowledging his various comments, he said You must understand, sir, we are all worthless shuorer bachchas (sons of pigs). What do we know? You have to explain thins to us. sir. After all. apni amader ma baap (you are our father and mother much used Bangla phrase)!" The fact of what it made him If he was their father and they weir all sons of pigs went completely over their boss head, and he was in fact quite flattered by this flattering and pacificatory (or so he thought!) speech. Meanwhile, hi* subordinates got their revenge on him most satisfactorily, since they could barely hold in their laughter until they had left the room!