H can anvbiKh wwh mr for rm dreams lo come true when or the couple of weeks 1 have been only having nightmires g Ud ones. terrify ing, lakes the dav lights out of mr. I don t know how mans more rughtv I would hr king awake mv head underneath the pillow haulled bv my haurlinit dreams

I am so ven confined. days (font seem davs anymore and I just art ter rified when it Marts getting dark outside I lit my house up. with ail sorts of lights, the electric bill is now always outragroush high. I forgot how it s like to eat and taste deli cious foods which goes in your palattestimulating ail those taste buds making them ganfoolling with ex Many.

For I am an epicure now I eat food for survival ooh. I hale fookmg at meat they seem u> turn into life, aid dwn Marts dorng in ns IM Ik irrihir thing iiiuginahfe I just loathe think ■ng <«i it' talking about survival if it g«s on inr much kM«T I wsaildn t be Sim iving al all I just live, w a iting. trailing for what id onh knows. My eyes got huge big dark cycles underneath them, my hairs have lost their luMer and growing grey day by dat im c kithes are a crying shame tiles don l seem to fit me anymorr and un house Minks, man does it Mink

The kids next door started c ailing me a w m h. I can t really Mame them I could use a broom for transport' All dav king 1 listen to funky music at least to lift my spirits, dance along with the music or read books on dreams, insomnia or look into the mirror scare hing for an answer, to where I have k>M myself to.

fori my best friend came over yesterday one look at me and she gave a schreek. if only my dreams weren t that scary . I would have had. got frightened by her sc hreek noth ing could scare me now. I used to be frightened bv a mere cockroach, now it makes me laugh. 1 laugh and then start cry ing uiKontroliabh. They (my friends) suggest that 1 start seeing a psy chokigiM. which I do. but nothing seems to help much-my nightmares don t go away, even when 1 don't sleep, I seem to be seeing them w ide awake.

My maid suggested it was the Saturn that had bought my soul, and that I should offer my body and mind, and have it garnaled with pray ers then they will leave me in peace. Flunk-God I still have the san ity not to listen to some illiterate w itch for nowhere. Tori got me some food from a restaurant, not much cooking herself, we sat down with the food, she was blabing away how awful 1 look and what had happene d in her office since, and about a new music which she would like to go with mr and on and on.

I don t mean to be rude I loved company but I was not much liking it when the food was tasong lie some one « vomit (not that I have tasted anybodvs 1. My daw and nights are the same to me. I Martedhearing oar neighbour speaking Greek, while she can t mac h speak Bengali property I didn t myself know Greek, bat I <<«id .wear I understood it now. To confirm mv wildest fear I called the I niversitv s language d< partment 1 expbined evenihing to them, and I repeated w tuaever I heard mv origb hour tn (creek to a professor who knew rerk

He .aid I spoke perfect Greek even bene r than a Greek GOD! There was ooh one thing left to secuiaae-L Canna howdhurv not in perfect sound of mind and bods is mat What next will I Mart singing, klling people burning houses ■ like what they do when vou are mad? Are they puiag u > admit me u > a mental cUc ? I cried and cried letting my emotions out I stared bawling. I didn't VM to own my body my head .mvthing

I didnt know of any famih mad iiess. d there was one. anywav what did it matter now I am mad. I just wanted to be normal, not knowing what normal was any kinger but soil normaL I put my head into the oven and kt the run. But I remembered it could be lethal to mv neighbours so 1 du wight 1 rather take an overdose of sk-rpmgpiiK

It was very miwy. foggy and cold this creature resembletning an orangutan, it s eve s caught fire in pools of blood, screaming without any sound, turned into a bloody skeleton. Uuither disgusting creature rose from the gutter spurting blood from his nMHith. ears, eyes and nostrils. sinking awav into a pool full of leeches. Thousand of screams, of mad people everywhere, than noth ing silence, even frightening than the dreams.

Trembling with an explostve mixture of fright and fury Canna woke. She had heard from someone that It harder to die than survive. She woke up to find her best friend Tori, eoupk of nurses and a doctor crowded near her bed. trying to comfort her. She gave up. U hat was she fighting any way. her battered inner conscious? How long are they going lo last any way.

She found that she had develop and enormous appetite, and ate whatever they severed her and more.

She thought she could eat forever, and it even tasted great. Whatever it was. it was just a terrible nightmare, she didn t want to have one the rest of her remaining lift .