THE last lew weeks have lieeu an ordeal for Dhakaites. It's been like - a rehearsal for hell. The hot weather is driving us crazy, If Shakespeare had been born in Dhaka ne would have written a "A "hot summer night's scream", and without doubt he wotild have been right. Sometimes when the heat becomes unbearable at night anti 1 can't sleep I suddenly have this, shall we say. unbtthodox urge. I feel like tearing up my clothes, run screaming into the night stark naked, climb up a tree and Just cling there among the cool leavfs (It must lie the monkey in me). Well at least ft proves Darwin's theory as unquestionably correct.

It s been a witches cauldron In Dhaka. April 2Olh was the ■ highest so far when the mercury hit 39’c. Like the sun, tempers have been -raging ev-> erywhere. Shop keepers quarreling with customers over prices, wives quarreling with husbands l>ecause he can't afford to buy an air cooler (like the one her nleghbour's). students fantacing about stran-nheir teachers because of ig classes and so on and so forth. The sUn Is affecting our sanity.

To make matters worse our ; weathermen are forecasting ’ rain since time immemorial. "Tomorrow's .weather forecast says that .there might or might not be a light to moderate showers over Dhaka and other districts.'. Boy. they can sure phrase their words, they can simply say that tomorrow might or might not be Keyamat (Doomsday)? But wait it gets better, notice how they often say." a cold gust of wind will blow over most parts of the country" and then totally forget to mention which parts. But I'm smart, I know they're taking us for a ride and I always follow my grandmother's advice : If your left toe twitches it'll rain and if both toes twitch then it'll pour. Unfortunately our erudite weathermen are not Into this little secret, otherwise they could have been a little more accurate in predicting the weather.

It's been worse for the other residents of Dhaka bast callv living or roaming around the slum Those inferior be Ings with little or no mental capacity and polygamous habits in the most strictest sense, no. Im not talking about the movie ariists. Im talking about the

animals of Dhaka (I'm'always confusing these two terms, sorry). What I'm Impaling is that the Summer heat is giving a whole new meaning to the phrase It's a dogs life' for the dogs. Parched throats of birds have lost their tune. Even the crows don't caw' as they (enthusiastically) once did.

But stop! It's not as alarming as It seems. Man is the most imaginative and ingenious among Gods creatures and he always finds a way out of the most grueling circumstances. I asked around and these are the remedies some of my friends put forward.

One suggested walking around nude. You can't deny it. this suggestion has it's merits. (Just think how economical it would be). Further more it would be very difficult to discriminate among people because without clothes everybody looks more over less the same. Just Imagine the headlines "Heat wave causes Dhaka tp bear all". Of course the pick pockets would be out of a lucrative profession, (it would leave a lasting Impression on a nude person, if you know what I mean) but these are minor difficulties that can easily be overcome.

Another suggested that we lolled our tongues out like dogs, it would cause evaporation and cool our bodies in the process, the catch here is that some people would have advantage over others because of their long tongues. For instance due to constant wagging, experts believe that tongues of the fairer sex is mush longer and more elastic them that of the male. So obviously girls' should adopt this technique. However it is my belief that the politicians of today would gain the most. They have very energetic and long tongues and they have the extra benefit of a wide mouth also. Among the other solutions offered were to submerge Dhaka in water, transfer all residents to Hawaii, bring Saddam Hussain on a state visit because his cold personality would cool things down etc.

Some even went far enough to suggested to push the sun a lit tie further back But the Implementation of my first two suggestions are really easy but someone's got to start first. If anyone does, please let me know Just imagine if both suggestions were taken up literally by ail Dhakaites! Im op timlstlc. in such difficult times, anything goes