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Match Making Not that Easy!

The Passing Show : Chuckles
ONE again I face my morning papers feeling glum and neglected — as a consumer, I am not being wooed enough by the local producers of consumer goods. Perhaps the native like exotic things from across the mysterious oceans
This time I do not find the matchmakers’ proposition attractive enough (correction : for matchmakers read the manufacturers of matches, that is match sticks supposed to spark a fire in the hearth, not in the heart) Listen to my story of love and hate.
For fifty years the advances of the seducers, armed with fiery sucks, have not improved the waiting period. The approach is still damp, and broken sticks are as good as broken promises. My technocrat colleagues stress on something called R&D, which means Research & Development. In this case the match-wallas are supposed to strike matchstick after matchstick thousand of times to check Its fidelity to the consumer. Our tropical humidity appears to be a great
barrier to this compatibility game.
What shall I do with the stick's after-glow when it ignites my plastic wastepaper basket, and leaves telling scar marks on my clothes — although not as damaging as the mark of another kind of red stick, if you could guess what I mean. According to safety regulations, there should
be no afterglow in inflammable and inanimate objects such as match sticks, however ardent be the attachment between shama and panvana ( the moth and the flame). Some brands advertise this borax additive, but the quality control is still poor.
The Bengalee producers could be imaginative and poetical. but to get one (lame after four broken sticks Is not the economy of life. Then there is
resistance, as usual, a part of our political and social life. The stick simply refuses to come out of the match box. Push from end, and then push from the other, and all you get is a broken stick. Admirable sacrifice, blit unfortunately misplaced, as there is still no sign of the flame, the basic purpose for which matches are bought. That the softwood of
our beautiful Sunderban cannot provide s undor stick for our match boxes is simply unimaginable.
I am forced to buy foreign gas lighters (for the kitchen and the pocket) to light our Sui gas burners: and our candles. when DESA is not in a mood to oblige. The candles are also great believers in The Opposing Self philosophy (the wick does not match the wax. and the letter is spineless). We
cannot produce Sui lighters, because one is butane and the other methane, 1 am told.
Our industrial shortcoming is deeper. Long ago I changed over to dynamo torchlight, avoiding the local batteries or dry cells (too dry, in fact). Before returning to our dear beloved matri bhumi, I also changed my watch to automatic type, which does not use battery. The system power loss appears to be deeply ingrained in our character.
My lament is our country has progressed in many fields, but as far matches are concerned. there is no change in quality since my school days. 1 have read (sadly) the grievances of the Industry. I do not know how to improve our (or their) matches, but I guess I can get myself technically trained to be able to use better match sticks (there are so many seminars around; just walk in).
Will some kind reader draft a tender for appointment of , new matchmakers? That is our problem at national level — matchmaking.