SUDDENLY you see a young lady walk out. "Ma. I will be late, the principal has invited us for dinner." She is tn a sari and high heels. Your heart leaps, can this be your baby? Just the other day she was clinging to you. refusing to enter her class on the first day of school. When did all this happen, how did time fly so quickly?

But that was sometime ago. Now she is hundreds of miles aWay. discovering, exploring and learning. She has left a big void In our hearts and our home. Will she be safe? Will she be able to look after herself? And most importantly will she return after her studies are over?

These are the anguished questions of a mother who is still trying to adjust to the fact that her baby has finally grownup and has left home. She is tormented by doubts, by fears and wonders if this has really been for the best interest of her child. People constantly ask. "Why did you send her. couldn't she have studied here? Mother Just nods her head and says "I did what I thought was best for her" but deep down inside, she is not sure at all. Only time will tell, meanwhile mother Just waits and prays.

How empty the house seems just by the absence of one person. Somehow conversations at dinner table does not sparkle anymore. The little one keeps on asking why we have sent Apu for ' 100 days' which is the ultimate time for her. She does not understand why all of us are tt^ether and poor Apu Is away. The food on the table looks uninteresting. There is no one to complain when the same kind of chicken is served every day or when there is too much oil or spice in the curry. There

are no loads of clothes to be washed or ironed. Her room looks tidy, stark and lifeless. How many times she has been reprimanded for not cleaning up. The telephone looks desolate. Memories of our frustra

tions over not being able to use it even on emergencies Is still so fresh.

Children come to our lives as special blessings. They come and give us Joy. happiness and sometimes pain. However much

we might complain about them, we as parents would not have it any other way. Before you know it. they are grown up and ready to leave. That Is in the order ol things and the way It should be The first step the child takes is her/his first declaration of independence. It Is the beginning of a long process which ultimately culminates in leaving home of the child either to study, to seek a career or to make their own homes elsewhere. This Is what every parent want for their children. To equip them for an Independent life.

So then why Is it so hard to let go? What is this feeling of desolation for? A sense of loss, a pining for times that has gone forever. Why is there a yearning to go back in time when all the children were small and in our arms. The realisation that even If our children return, it will never be the same is very 'painful. Yet. we have to accept this reality. This is the way life is, youth over age, change over stagnation and in a way life over death.

The best way to deal with the absence of a child is to think positive. To rejoice in the fact that you have been able to give an opportunity to your children that you yourself never had. That you have done the best you could. In every way possible. You can also relive your life through your children. See the world through their eyes. Be a part of the exciting world they have entered. Learn as they learn, explore and discover the wonderful world of knowledge they have entered. Most Importantly, always be there for them when they need you. Even from across the continent children need to know that they are loved. In the respect, perhaps, nothing has changed.