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The Hunt for Blue Guitars

by Ahsan S Kabir
YOU'D think that being at the university of my choice and saddled with a reputation for rowdiness. I'd be less Inhibited by the maternal authority a safe ten thousand kilometres away. You'd think that I d do as I please for once, so long as I didn't get bankrupt or Jailed You'd thing that I wouldn't be looking over my shoulders cv ery moment of tlx- day
You'd be wrong.
You see. my mom is rather tolerant of my whims and whirs. I want to write a story, she let me write story, I want to play tennis, she let me play tennis. I want to buy an electric guitar, she don't let me buy electric guitar.
Gee, Ma. why must you be so strict with me?
I was sixteen when I "borrowed" an acoustic guitar, fooled around with it. and bashed it down on my best friend's cranium when he said I didn't know a G chord from a power cord. Oh well. A little older, a little wiser — and most importantly, a little richer, I bought an acoustic guitar and set about improving my musical skills. And then I was struck by a brilliant idea.
Why don't I buy an electric guitar?
What a great ideal Not only could I drive my family and neighbors nuts by playing a high volume, overdriven, am-' pllfied guitar. I could learn the' licks and cliches of such greats as Satriani. King and Christian. So I very merrily proposed the purchase to my dearly beloved mother of mothers expecting easy consent and money.
She said no.
Why not? No.
Come on. Mom. be reasonable. Give me one good reason.
She gave me ten. I couldn't play a guitar well enough yet. It was expensive. I don't need an electric axe. I'd become a mindless metal maniac — and so on. You know, that's the problem with mothers these days. 1 remember the good old days when mothers were more obliging, more willing to bend io their children's wills.
I mean, they use logic, and there's no arguing with logic, though 1 tried anyway. And I
could play the Instrument weU. despite my mother's opinion. Still. 1 mean I could buy books, computers, tapes, cameras, food — anything within budget — but no axe.
Alright. So I'd Just have to
trivialities such as mothers wouldn't stand in my way. (Buy a guitar and live in the same house? Fat chanee. Mom would bring the axe on my head.)
A year later I was at university, far far away from Dhaka.
safe and sound Yet ... yeL.
One night I wore dark clothes, a trench coat and mercury shades and a fake moustache. 1 opened the door a crack and glanced around the corridor ol the dormitory AU clear. I slipped out and very quietly shut the door. Tiptoed "Where arc you going?" So much for my camouflage
"Er. nowhere, For a walk."
"Mind If 1 go with you?"
"Yes! — I. uh mean that Im going for a meditation session. Uh. yeahl That's Itl I m desper atcly seeking Susan and Nirvana and ! need total soll-
along the corridor to the main door
"Hll”
I slammed against a wall, my facing wearing an artificial smile, hands behind my back. "U^. hl." "Where arc you going?" So much for my camouflage
"Er. nowhere, For a walk."
"Mind If 1 go with you?"
"Yes! — I. uh mean that Im going for a meditation session. Uh. yeahl That's Itl I m desper atcly seeking Susan and Nirvana and ! need total soll-
tudc. Sorry." 1 hurried away. Off campus. I stuck to the shadows. avoiding lights, using back alleys, watching out for police, the CIA, and spies.
Eventually. 1 crawled my way to the gales of the music store. So far, so good. I took out a pair of binoculars and checked the streets for anyone, especially women bearing the slightest resemblance to mothers. Then I saw these huge eyes peering at me through the lens.
"Aught III" I dropped the binoculars, trembling tn fear.
"May I help you?" asked a frowning salesclerk.
"YeahI I wanna electric gul
"Please follow me." He walked off. so confident. I slunk behind, as nervous as a rabbit Inside the mouth of a lion.
"I'd like a Fender Stratocastcr Ultra United States edition tn placid plue with a tremolo bar. two single coil pick-ups and a humbucker "
"Here you go "
"A left-hander's one. you id-loti Can't you see I'm lefthanded?"
"No." He exchanged the guitar. That's eight hundred dol-
That's highway robbery! Look, my good man. out of the kindness of my heart, my pacific Inclinations, and the fact that I'll kill you if you don't do as I say, I'll give you five hundred dollars. Take It or leave IL" We stared at each other, trying to intimidate one another He surrendered meekly "Good. I'll buy that combo amplifier. too, if you don't mind "
"Me? Mind? Whatever Jo^r
1 smuggled the equipment back to the dormitory. No one saw me. No one to report my actions to Mom. I tapped the room door. "Jim?" Loud snores of my roommate. Enough to wake the dead from their Eves Hiding everything un-
the bed. I Jumped for Joy Yay! I got my electric gul lari
Ring!
Uh oh. "Hello."
Tomorrow morning, you shall return to the guitar et al. to the store."
"BuL."
"No buts. I didn't send you to university to buy a guitar. When I wanted you to learn to play the thing, you didn't want to. and now —
"But Mom...."
"Do what I say!"
"Mom..."