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Dhaka Day by Day

Easy on the Grease Heavy on the Fun!

by Aasha Mehreen Amin
So with s huge sigh of relkf and an equally huge hale In the pocket. w bld farewell to the season for long drawn out nuptial functions. There are of course, a few isolated incidents of marriage here and there but over all. the worst to over. Nevertheless. one can not help but recall the trauma of trying not to wear something worn on fifty other occasions and squeezing just one more wedding present-tn the over-exhausted budget. This, together with the endless hours spent in total boredom watching the zombie like bride dressed to kill or rather to be killed with ail that armour, one begins to wonder at the logic of such ordeals! The whole process. starting with the 'engagement' which we used to call the panchtnl' back tn the sane old days, to the receptton. has become a rather tacky way to keep up with the Jones's or |ust to tell the world "look how much money I have to waste!'. But more surprising is the fact that while an obscene amount of money is spent pro vlding people with a cholesterol feast and the lucky bride's trousseau, no effort is made to make the occasion a memora ble experience. The word fun' seems to be as alien as the word 'taste full' In these functions. making them quite meaning less.
One of the things that people often complain about is the lack of warmth and per sonal attention at these funclions, that in earlier times used to be not only taken for granted, but the main point of attending tn the first place. Many times upon arrival, the guest goes straight to the dining table to eat his/her share of the calorie galore, cursorily washes the hands and then goes on his/her sweet way home without even seeing the host/ hostess, bride or bridegroom! Hie reason for this is neither the guest's inordinate craving for btrlyani nor an inherent rudeness on the part of the host. It is because of the simple fact that there are far too many people crammed together In too little space. The host and hostess are so preoccupied trying to make sure that there is enough grub for everyone that they just don’t have the opportunity to look anyone in the eye. let ak>nc talk io him or her! My question Is — is It really necessary to Invite the entire town? Would H be so offensive If Just once the boss s mother-In law's brother's wife la not Included In these uplifting festivities?
Coming back to the victuals. It la curious to note that while the rule of heart disease Is one the rise. Ilie amount of pure ghee in tire food items served is also on the rise. Hits kind of perverse causal relationship la surely an Indication of — what slud! I say — pure madness? It is now btrlyanl at the engagement, btrlyanl at the hakils. blriyani at the wedding and yes. blriyani at the reception! I know of many people for whom such food Is nothing short of poison. The option for them Is either to refrain from eating at all or face consequences that may even be fatal. Surely a tradition that causes such severe health problems Is best left In ubr history books to be remembered with fondness and nostalgia.
Taking about tradition I am curious to know what Is so traditional about sit ting from 3 to 4 hours Just staring at the blank expressions of the guests and realising that you probably look as lackluster as they do? For that is all one can do at these duets. Why not cut down on the glitter and ghee and provide some live entertainment like having a band to sing? As for making the lady who is about to tie the knot wait for hours and hours with all that gold and brocade weighing her down — this can be only termed as sadism. In many cases she Is frowned upon If she even dares to talk or smile. Is gelling married so awful that one Is supposed to look as miserable and surfaced as possible? Strange traditions we have I must say!
One therefore welcomes with great relief, the close of Illis hectic period. For most working people coming back from the office and then getting dressed everyday, stretches our tolerance or fatigue level to very taut limits and does little to improve our looks! But if you still insist on having 14 separate functions for your darling boy or girl getting hooked, make them just a little bit of fun and go a Utile easy on the grease!