& çâÌæÚUæð´ ·¤è ¥ôÚU Îð¹Ùæ ÁæÚUè ÚU¹ð´ ¥ÍæüÌ ¥ÂÙð ÜÿØ ÂÚU ŠØæÙ ÚU¹ð´Ð ãæÚU Ù ×æÙð´, €UØô´ç·¤ ·¤æ× ·¤ÚUÙð âð ¥æÂ·¤ô ©gðàØ ·¤è Âýæç# ãôÌè ãñ ¥õÚU ÁèßÙ ·¤æ ¹æÜèÂÙ ÎêÚU ãôÌæ ãñÐ ÖÜð ãè ÁèßÙ ×ð´ ç·¤ÌÙè Öè ·¤çÆÙæ§ü €UØô´ Ù ¥æ°, çÁ™ææâæ ¥õÚU ©ˆâæã ÕÙæ° ÚU¹ð´Ð ŠØæÙ ÚU¹ð´, ÜÿØ ã×ðàææ ¥æÂ·Ô¤ Âæâ ãôÌð ãñ´ çÁ‹ãð´ ÂæÙð ·Ô¤ çÜ° ÂýØæâ ¥æÂ ·¤Öè Öè àæéM¤ ·¤ÚU â·¤Ìð ãñ´Ð

WRITE TO MITA
Dear Mita.
Whatever you say, the bottom line in that women have to make all the adjustment to make a marriage work My husband Is kind, even tempered. provides well for the family and we have a reasonably good marriage. But I wonder If It would be so if I refused to adjust or comply to his demands. For example he has not allowed me to have any other career except that of a school teacher, he wants me to teach the children and even if we have servants. I should look the main meal. All these years I have complied with these demands, but. what if I had refused? What do you have to say to this?
Amira. Chittagong.
Dear Amira,
You have made a good point, this question Is being asked by many married women especially those who believe in asked by many the traditional as well as the modern concept of marriage. Of all the demands made by your husband, not letting you pursue a career of your choice is the most serious one. There are many husbands who insist on little things such as the tea must be made and served by the wife, or that she should come to the door to greet him or wish him good bye etc. but when it comes to serious things like encouraging her to go abroad and study these same husbands have known to demonstrate tremendous understanding. Marriage should essentially be a balance. It is not necessary to fight for every little cause but women should draw the line when her identity is threatened.
Dear Mita.
Your solution to problems are really good. I like to appreciate so here I am asking you for a solution.
My mother-in-law is always talking about me to my other sister-in-law behind my back and again she is talking about my sister- In-law behind her back She is very sweet with me in front of her son. My elder sister-in-law advices me to reply back but I am totally of different nature. My sister-in-law does so and she advices me to the same I cannot even complain to my husband but my life Is becoming miserable. Now, you tell mb or suggest me what should I do to change this kind of attitude of my mother-in-law?
Baby. Dhanmondi.
Dear Baby.
I am afraid there is not much you can do about your problem except to suffer in silence or have a confrontation with your mother-in-law Let her know that you are aware of
her behavior and would prefer her to stop it I realize this is hard to do. But the other alternative is if she does not live with you than just Ignore IL What about your sister-in-law? Is there any chance that she might be adding fuel to the fire?
Dear Mita.
My son is 10 and has not been promoted to the next class. My husband thinks it is my fault, that I did not teach him weU. We are having big arguments about this as I really resent his attitude. Not for a day did he try to teach him and now has the nerve to blame me. Our son has always been a weak student but is otherwise quite intelligent, what should I do, is changing school a solution? please advise.
Rina, Dhaka
Dear Rina
Our school system Is such that even a child of 9 has to understand the meaning of failure at this young age. It is a system which is geared towards the above average student, the rest fall between the cracks and are forgotten. Changing school could be a short term solution but you would face the same frustrations in the long run. The child needs constant supervision from both the parents along with love and care that I am sure you give him. He must be encouraged to do better next time and in no way his self esteem should be made to suffer.
Dear Mita.
Long time ago you wrote to a women who had a dark complexioned daughter. 1 don't know if your letter helped her or not but I have tried everything and still society treats my daughter as if she was disabled because she is very dark. What can I do to build her confidence? She is only 13 and is a very good student, but Is getting a complex I am afraid she will have lots of problems In life
Rabat. Narayanganj
Dear Rabat.
Your daughter will have no problem in life as long as you. your husband, her family makes her feel special. Each child is precious in their own way and should be treated as such. It is most unfortunate that in this age and time, when we are soon going to be eitizens of the 21s| century, something as ridiculous and insignificant aa the colour of the skin should determine a child's personality Just let her grow normally, give her your love, support and a secure home, and ignore some ignorant peoples comments