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OPINION

Adoption : A Social Problem
Western experts are opining that single women interested in adopting children should think very carefully before doing so. They are stressing this especially in case of those children the identity of whose fathers are unknown, meaning that the fathers have abandoned the mothers after the birth of the child, and thus mothers being absolutely helpless have given the child for adoption.
These helpless mothers take this decision thinking of the welfare of the child. They want their children to have a better life as well as a stable future.
Even in cases where such a child is given for adoption to a family of only husband and wife, there also arises a problem. The main area of problem is that the adopted child Is always trying to find who his/her real father is. This actually is nothing but a quest for finding their own identity but the result is that these children become extremely confused, and unhappy.
It matters little even if they live d luxurious life while their anonymous past continues to haunt them. So gradually as they grow, and from childhood enter into adolescence, it becomes terribly important for them to know who they are. In other words, to find their roots. and it is this complicated question which keeps on bothering them, till they are able to find an answer.
In cases they do not find the answer, they keep on searching for their past, making their present miserable. Often it so happens that these children, so determined to know about their identity, even go as far as hiring detectives to do this Job for them. AU this explains how deep the urge Is within them, and how painful It is for them to realise that the present home of thetrs Is nothing but a "house of cards'. Dils ■urge" is often successful In destroying the whole family life.
Those who suffer most from this dilemma and subsequenl unhappiness, are often ob-
served to be women who had been adopted In their own childhood. When they want to adopt children, or are on the verge of having one. they suddenly face the question of identity of their own life.
Experts believe that it Is quite clear from the behavioural pattern of these children that they if given the choice, would prefer to live with their own parents, instead of the adopting ones, no matter how rich or loving the foster parents are .
Thus according to western experts any single woman who wants to adopt a child with the Identity of his/her father unknown. is taking a very big risk for the future, as It may turn out to be quite a traumatic experience. and not be emotionally satisfying in any way.
However, we must remember that this is entirely a western view, as adoption is quite common and widespread in that society. In contrast to ours. Yet in our society too. such cases often occurred. And in recent years, adoption is becoming quite common mostly among childless affluent couples. The difference is. tn our country couples like to keep it a secret, pretending that the child is their natural born one.
The reasons for keeping this a secret are many. Mainly the narrow concept of our social structure is not at all sympathetic towards the Idea of adoption.
Therefore, the question which haunts us is that these children who are al present being adopted have a strong chance of coming to know their true background, when they are grown up. For however much the parents try. there will be close relatives and acquaintancy who by acd-lent might reveal the true Identity of the particular child. Then the child will start the riunt for "identity" and the situation will be no different from arhat is happening In the West TOW
S Chowdhury. Mohammedpur. Dhaka,.