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Dhaka Day by Day

Of Fish and Flora

by Fay Ta Haq
" it's bitter. make It sweet* ts one of the well known phrases from any Russian wedding. After this the exchange of kiss and the traditional drinking of the wine proceed. There are endless rites and rituals that go with weddings The bridegroom In the west, for instant*. should never see the bride In her virginal white before the wedding or disaster strikes. Similarly something "borrowed* brings the bride hick.
In Dhaka "holuds*. the fish that will be sent us a celebrated offering to the bride's house 1s the cause of much talk and discussion. The state of the fish
is the source of gossip and chatter for lx>urs. The fish is a symbol of fertility and sometimes the mouth of the fish- Is
crammed with money Io
make the offering even more dclecta bte.
Another integral ceremonial fertility symbol, repre tentative of pregnancy, ts the * kolosh* painted and decorated with endless patterns of flowers and leaves in yellow ochre and vermilion. These decorate every nook and cor ner of the house where the " holud* is staged
The symbol of the plough is again an important factor in the bridegroom's house. The plough represents the male strength: It is the man who is expected to go out and earn for the family and sow the seeds of success. These together with the "alpona" form essential part of the customs and traditions that complete the "holud' without which no marriage celebration in Dhaka would be complete.
The concept of "hohid* itself, ritualistic as it is. has scientific and age-old beliefs behind the use.The turmeric is said to increase the sexual appetite. It is also said to act as a contraceptive to check any unwanted early preg-
perfumed "turmeric" and oil arc used for the smell, to improve the complexion and to make the skin smooth. The "holtld tapta" also contains sweetmeats which is an accepted mailt'of celebration. The silver container of henna is also not forgotten.
The "rakhi* that comes with the tray of dc-lectabfes from each side of the parties plunging into the nuptual also harks back to hundreds of years. This silk and tinsel ribbon is tied on the by the "bhabis" or the bride s sis ter-in-law to be who invariably takes gn at pride and privilege in this act. It is behoved that the "rakhi is to be formally opened by the husband on the night of the marriage tn Hie "basbor ghor".
Among the Hindus there is the pulling of the "shtndur" which is put In the parting <•( 'he bride's hair. This dwells on the concept of vlr gintty. Another act that the Hindu girl must m comphsh is scatter rice as she leaves her par ent's home. This rice scattering stands for the girl's debts to
her parents which ts quite different from Ihe confetti and rice that Is showered in the west.
During the putting of the "holud" which proceed for seven days the girl docs not adorn herself wit h any jewel lery. Even on the actual "holud" day she is decked with garlands of "champa". tuberoses and other sweet -smelling flowers. i
Holding the gate and hiding the shoes of the bridegroom cause endless diver ston and enter tainment for the young participants of a wedding. After the "rusumat"
the bridegroom, some decades back, wiped his face and hands with the "anchaT of the bride's mother's sari. This was returned with a gold guinea tied to the sari.
Another custom of receiving guineas some 50 years ago was when the groom, "salaamed" the elders after the marriage ceremony was over. The groom placed a guinea at each pair of feet and this was in turn doubled by the eld era of the family.
Dhaka, specially the older section, abounds in celebration rites and rituals. Something like "khatna", "aquika" and even "tara dikahan" to the newborn child, were items that have been celebrated over the years with pomp and pageantry. Even the piercing of a girl's earlobes or nose have merited the dlstrlbtiikiii of sweets and new.clothes. Similarly, in the old Dhaka, years ago. "guria ki shade was an entire event on its own with shehnaf". "dholak” and lhe entire claptrap of tlx- extravaganza of jubilation.